WELCOME TO THE GRANDE SALON! In the tradition of the 18th century Parisian salon, participate here in stimulating discussions or debate, educate yourself and revel in sensual debauchery! I am Courtesan Alexa Da Silva, an open-minded, creative, nurturing soul. I respect all living beings, races, cultures, sexual orientations, religions and beliefs... there is a force uniting us all! Please read ‘More About Me’ below...
Will The Real Courtesans Please Stand Up?
SINCE beginning my profession as a Courtesan, I’ve often wondered about something… With the vast assortment of options out there, how do you make a good choice for an ‘intimacy provider’ so you’re truly satisfied? Out of frustration, I can just imagine looking at a panel of sex workers and resorting to the old “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” method, especially if you haven’t a clue what to look for. For example, just going to a website like CityVibe.com, you’re flooded with a host of tiny blinking pictures of scantily clad females and shemales offering an assortment of services and experiences for a wide range of prices. Escorts, masseuses, tantric practitioners, domina’s, porn stars, and dancers offer all types of erotic delights for as little as 15 minutes up to an entire week or more. So, how do you dig through it all to find the fulfillment of your desires? Well, I’ve heard it said that the number one reason most people don’t get what they want is that they don’t know what they want. So, the first important question to ask yourself is what do you really want from your provider?
Why pay for companionship in the first place? Some believe men pay for companionship as a salve for common psychological afflictions. Others believe they are driven by chauvinistic motives, such as a desire to dominate and control women. However, a considerable number of patrons for companionship are females, and lesbian or heterosexual couples with reasons of their own for choosing to pay for companionship. Recently, studies have shown that pathology really has nothing to do with this decision.
A man may seek to pay for companionship because he is recently divorced or has broken up with a partner and isn’t ready to commit again or to tackle the dating world. As some men have stated, ‘It’s cheaper than dating and I know what I’m getting…” Or perhaps they’re with a partner and sexually or emotionally dissatisfied. In response men have said, “I pay for companionship here because I can have dirtier sex with such women; my girlfriend refuses to go down on me, and escorts are willing to fulfill my every desire for the right price…” or “You pay to get exactly what you want without complaint or insult”. Some just like the opportunity for variety, pure and simple. A couple may be looking to enhance their own relationship sexually and emotionally. A woman may be ‘touch-deprived’ from living in western culture, or curious to experiment with bi-sexuality. Sex is not always what men are seeking when they pay for companionship either. A significant number of ‘intimate companions’ never have sexual intercourse with their clients, but instead go out publicly together to travel or enjoy events and fine dining, to have stimulating conversations, or just to cuddle, laugh, and appreciate beauty. When it comes to sex, there is always a negotiation of some sort directly, or indirectly especially in a patriarchal society where historically men have tended to make more money on average than women, and where male appetite fundamentally drives the sex trade.
Apart from hunting and gathering, prostitution is the oldest profession. There are two basic instincts in the character of normal individuals: the will to live and the will to propagate the species or rather the need for Eros – the life-giving force that lies deep within us as a drive that brings sexual pleasure and new life. It is from this drive that prostitution took its origin. It is in nearly every civilization on Earth stretching back throughout all recorded human history. We can say with some confidence that wherever there has been money, goods, or services to be bartered, somebody has bartered them for sex. Even Chimpanzees negotiate sex in exchange for food as shown in studies done by Dr. Cristina Gomes from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany. Her studies could provide clues about human evolution. Male chimpanzees that were able to hunt and provide meat to female chimpanzees were statistically able to mate more often. The protein in the meat gives the female an advantage increasing her ability to reproduce. Dr. Gomes has been exploring the link between “good hunting skills and reproductive success” as related to humans. In a world where a human ‘hunter’ or ‘bread winner’ provides goods or sustenance for their mate they will generally in turn have more opportunities to mate (BBC News).Whether for reproduction or not, contributing to another human’s survival, by providing goods, can create an advantage in mating.
Human nature has two distinct aspects – the Basic Instinct side and the Spirit side, both having completely different motivations. Instinct seeks to survive and propagate at whatever cost, while Spirit seeks quality of life and connection or companionship. Prostitution mainly serves the instinctive need for sex. Yet, the human craving for fulfillment of the spirit can be met through sex and companionship. It is only Christianized western civilization that seeks to separate sex from spirit. Historically, the Catholic Church decreed that sexuality is only for the purpose of procreation. Consequently, it is difficult for people to accept that sex for any other purpose is good, and that it is also for feeding and transforming the human spirit.
So, if you’re looking for an ‘intimacy companion’ who can provide an experience that goes beyond just a primal sexual encounter. If you desire a connection of the soul, what type of provider should you search for? Historically, Greek literature refers to three classes of prostitutes: pornai or slave/ prostitutes that all men, regardless of income level, could afford to hire; freeborn street prostitutes; and hetaera or educated prostitute-entertainers who enjoyed a level of social influence that was denied to nearly all non-prostitute women. In modern day, there are still pornai and freeborn street prostitutes available to fulfill the primal need for a sexual encounter. One can easily find these on the street referred to as hookers and street-walkers and perhaps online or in print ads as escorts and call girls, presenting a wide range of skills and prices, some with a degree of integrity and some seriously lacking. However, in classic civilizations, the Hetaera, Geisha or Courtesan was the highly educated, refined, spiritually, artistically and erotically trained provider for the temples, the elite and the aristocracy. This was not a provider for the common man looking for a brief sexual encounter. Sex was only part of the experience with these providers, and they were well compensated for the quality of their presence.
And who were these Courtesans down through history? The Geisha in Japan was one of a class of professional women trained from girlhood in conversation, dancing, and singing in order to entertain professional or social gatherings of men. Although, sex was not overtly seen as part of her services, if she were privately interested in the gentleman, it would be her decision to engage with him in this manner. 
In the days of ancient civilizations, the feminine form was much more highly respected and revered. She was considered a Sacred Prostitute and a representative of the Goddess whom they worshipped. The Sacred Prostitute was the one who could connect men through sexual ecstasy to their soul and ultimately to the Divine. She was to be protected, and not disdained as the modern prostitute has been. The Hetaera, who came out of these civilizations, was well-known in ancient Greece. She was the one who, besides developing physical beauty, cultivated her mind and talent to a degree far beyond that allowed to the average woman. The Hetaera enjoyed an enviable and respected position of wealth, and was protected and taxed by the state. Her freedom was greater than that of the married woman, who was bound to seclusion. The Hetaerae of Corinth and Athens were especially noted for their outstanding physical and cultural accomplishments. Phryne and Lais are historic representatives.
The Courtesan was originally a female courtier, or a person who attends the court of a monarch. In feudal society, the court was the centre of government as well as the residence of the monarch, and social and political life were often completely mixed together. Courtesan came to refer to “the ruler’s mistress”, and then to a well-educated, independent woman, and a trained artisan of dance and singing, especially one associated with wealthy, powerful, or upper-class men. These men would then provide luxuries and status in exchange for companionship. The Courtesan often held a simultaneous career as performer or artist, and was chosen for her social and conversational skills, intelligence, and companionship—as well as her physical attributes.
Elizabeth Sabato Swinton, curator of Asian art at Worcester Art Museum in Massachusetts states, “The courting process was very ritualistic. Men would pay huge amounts of money just for an introduction, and they would have to follow an elaborate process of eating and drinking before they could even think about having sex. You had to know the rules in order to play the game. And having a fat wad of cash would not guarantee sex. If all you had was money, you would be considered a bore.” The historic Courtesan was expected to be well-dressed and ready to engage in a variety of topics ranging from the arts to politics. Her wit and personality set her apart from regular women. Some of the famous Courtesans of their time were Veronica Franco of Venice – lover to King Henry III of France, and Madame de Pompadour of Versailles – the famous mistress and long time favorite of King Louis XV. Unlike the common street prostitute, the Courtesan was a master of seduction and the arts of romantic love. It was through her stimulation of the intellect, body, and spirit that a man could rekindle his flame, find his passion, and restore his vitality of life! These were women who, by their presence, could open a man to joy and the true appreciation of beauty, releasing the soul from the bondage of the mundane and logical everyday world.
“Hail, sweetly-winning, coy-eyed goddess! Grant that I may gain the victory in this contest, and order you my song.” (Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite) When the soul is longing for Eros – passion, sexual ecstasy and connection, the modern Courtesan is the provider to seek. But how can you recognize a Courtesan in the present-day? Firstly, the modern Courtesan is able to connect with you on many levels – physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. She is both beautiful inside and out, and is extremely vigilant in taking care of herself because she knows that her body is the temple of her soul. It is second nature for her to receive the best treatment because this is what she deserves. People can easily see her as a goddess. She is truly a sacred sensual healer with a highly developed ability to listen. She is a wise woman, confident in herself, who is full of inspiration, serenity and integrity. Her profession as a Courtesan is her choice, and she has no shame in receiving compensation for her worth. Having men pay for her companionship and skills is something that builds her confidence. She has nothing to hide, yet she prizes discretion highly. She is a master of seduction. With her powerful gifts and exciting, erotic skills for healing and heightened pleasure, she knows how to tailor these to her client’s desires.
More specifically, the modern Courtesan has a level of training in social etiquette that is comparable to a ‘debutante’. This means she is well-educated as opposed to having just attended school, can demonstrate leadership, dependability, and a heart for giving to charity – (charity comes from the Latin word charis meaning beauty and kindness, which comes from the compassion of a healer). She may be able to speak multiple languages fluently and even able to play at least one instrument and dance well. 
When you’re out with her publicly you feel comfortable with her because she is diplomatic, respectful, knows dining etiquette, and the polite use of a cell-phone. Also, she carefully selects her stylish clothing, adorns her body, knowing the difference between elegantly sexy and trashy, and she carries herself with poise and charm. She will save the enticing garments and special requests for private time later. At any time, you can have stimulating conversations because she is sober, well-spoken, and has a depth of understanding in many subjects – the arts, politics, science and particularly many facets of human sexuality. She is careful to speak gracefully and to articulately express herself in a wide vocabulary, with little or no obscenities; but will leave that for the occasional ‘dirty talk’ to tease you behind closed doors. She is truly exclusive with her clientele, and doesn’t just state this falsely and then accept all requests just to get as much money as possible. This type of provider can’t be considered an option for an elite gentleman looking for a woman who is discriminating. There is a unique connection that occurs between the courtesan and her chosen client – they can enhance each others’ lives. Also, to quote a fellow associate, “The modern courtesan is… well-traveled, familiar with more than one culture, knowledgeable about current affairs… and comfortable in a variety of social situations.” (Aina Montero)
Hopefully, after reading, you are more familiar with what it is that you really want from your provider, and what levels of companionship are being presented out there. My advice is to proceed with caution, as the Latin phrase goes, “Caveat Emptor” or “Let the buyer beware”. Simply because a provider charges a high price, or refers to herself with a certain title, this does not make her on the level of a Courtesan. There is so much more to the modern Courtesan than her rates. Frequently, a provider who is in fact on the level of a modern Courtesan may refer to herself as an escort. In this case, it is so very clear from their presentation that they’re all about quality and integrity no matter the title. In the end, the choice is yours… at least now you can recognize a true Courtesan if it is a true Courtesan that you desire!
Categories: courtesans
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December 13th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
[...] the rest here: Will The Real Courtesans Please Stand Up? Money, News, bankruptcy, [...]
December 14th, 2009 at 12:21 am
Wonderfully written piece here. Ones who might look at this profession might have just one thought without thinking of the more in depth history of it. Thank you for presenting it in such a wonderful manner.